Sometimes it feels like we’re evolving backwards.
During the awakening process, it can seem like we take great strides forward only to then falter right back to where we started. We experience moments of utter selflessness, connectedness and unity with everything only be thrust back into the mundane “realities” of selfishness, disconnection and separation.
Remember, though, it only seems you’re going backwards at these times. In truth, even those faltering steps backward are still parts of the waking up process. Rather than see yourself as constantly going in circles, realize you’re actually moving in a spiral. Every time you cross a familiar part of your path, you’re actually a bit more evolved from the awareness gained from having been there before.
Once you awaken, you are awake.
You cannot fall back asleep; you can only take rests and reprieves. You may retreat from the process, but once you engage it, it will never retreat from you. Once you let the light in, you can never extinguish it.
You have left the darkness behind you, and there it can stay.
The purpose of life is all about expanding the soul through our experiences and choices, our connections with others, our challenges and our achievements, our pain and our joy. We celebrate each time we discover we’ve grown in an area, and when we feel like growth is lacking, or all our growth seems to amount to nothing in the face of mounting adversities, we can fall prey to old patterns of impatience, neediness, attachment, especially when it’s something we thought we’d already dealt with.
Awakening is a process
At these dark, low and lonely times most of all, remember you’re only continuing to assimilate your growth. Know that it is only part of the process, and just as sure as you’re feeling this now, you’ll be feeling even more empowered and enlightened on the other side of it. Because of it, even.
All you’re doing in your darkest moments is deprogramming yourself of lifetimes of programming: yours, the planet’s, the Universe’s. So cut yourself some slack, for goodness sake!
Allow yourself to feel these uncomfortable feelings and, rest assured, you’ll observe your growth again in virtually no time. And when you do, you’ll be greeted by new epiphanies, unimagined joy, and untrammeled excitement about what life has to offer you.